The Seppuku that Wasn't
by khammel
Summary: A sidestory to Sinom Bre's "The Prank that Wasn't". To quote Sinom Bre on "The Prank that Wasn't": A thoroughly bored Ranma decides to stir the Nerima pot by becoming the "bad" girl of the area. His quote on this sidestory: Nodoka finds out about Ranma's curse and how Ranma's been carrying herself of late. Like daughter, like...


The Seppuku that Wasn't By Kevin D. Hammel

Based on "The Prank That Wasn't"  
By Sinom Bre

Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi. Publishing rights are held by Viz in the US and Shogakukan in Japan. My purpose is to honor the creator and her works. No infringement intended.

"The Prank That Wasn't" situational copyright by Sinom Bre. Characterizations and situations used with permission.  
v2 ***

Ranma sat atop the Tendou's fence, right next to the gate. Lounged was probably a better word for it, as her small body was spread out on the wall in a relaxed pose. Akane was gone to a friend's house, so a bored Ranma decided to enjoy the weather and watch traffic go by. Actually it was more like watch traffic stop in front of her perch, and then continue. She wore a black silk mini skirt, matching silk slippers, black half-finger gloves, black silk crop top and... her hair, of course. He eyes were half-lidded as she stretched and enjoyed a nice yawn in the warm sun.

Resting her chin between her hands, she gave that smile Nabiki seemed to like when she took her picture. Life is good, she thought as she thrust one hand skyward, enjoying the feel of her taut arm muscles.

"What are you doing HERE, you little trollop?" a woman's voice angrily shouted from below.

It was HER, the lady who had scolded Ranma before. And what was up with the wrapped bundle? Ranma scrunched up her nose as she thought. The woman looked familiar. Maybe she was the teacher who made her write 'I will not demonstrate throws on other students' one hundred times on the blackboard in fifth grade.

"What's it t' you?" Ranma asked, sass on each syllable.

"Why, your mother should be ashamed of raising a little harlot like you!" the woman shouted back.

"Mother... Heh! Tell me another one!" Ranma retorted with a smirk.

The woman was really getting mad now. "And what are you doing here? This is the house where the Tendou family lives!"

Ranma smiled. "I know." A skyward leap, three and one half revolutions with a half twist placed her in front of the woman, who was a lot taller that she was. "And another thing! I live here too." She threw out her ample chest in pride as she continued. "My name's Ranma Saotome, Heir to the Saotome Ryuu of Musabetsu Kakutou."

At first she had blushed at the girl's brazen display, but turned white at the mention of Ranma. "Oh, my!" the woman whispered, as she pitched forward in a dead faint. Ranma caught her and decided to carry her inside. In only a few moments, traffic flow on the street outside returned to normal.

The woman struggled to consciousness. She could feel a cold towel on her head. The shameless little hussy looked at her with what actually seemed to be concern. "Where's Ranma? I think I heard you mention his name!" the concerned woman asked. She remembered the girl saying something about Ranma, but exactly what was still fuzzy.

Ranma rolled her eyes. "What's it to ya? Why should I tell YOU anything about Ranma?"

The woman bolted upright, with an excited smile. "Do you know my manly son?" She looked at the girl with slightly different eyes before continuing. This child was both built and dressed to attract a man. "I'm sure my manly son would like to get a peek under your skirt!"

Ranma big-sweated. "Y... y... you're Ranma's mom?"

The woman smiled. "Yes, Nodoka Saotome. My husband took my son away ten years ago. And I know he's manly, because my husband promised he would be or they would commit Seppuku."

Ranma's vision became a little cloudy as the woman prattled on.

"I heard they were staying here, so I stopped by to visit," the woman concluded with a smile for the little slattern-in-training.

"Oh, my!" Ranma breathed before she fainted.

The slightly warmer towel had been shifted to Ranma's head. The woman was still there, but her eyes were red from dried tears. Ranma struggled to remember the end of the conversation. Then it hit her like a (metric) ton(ne) of bricks. "Seppuku..." she whispered.

The woman smiled, or at least made a game effort to. "No, Dear, not for you. Your friend Nabiki-chan here..." She glanced over at the middle daughter before continuing.

Ranma's gaze was stuck on Nabiki for a few moments, as the girl mouthed some words: you... owe... me... Then she spread her arms wide to show exactly how much. Ranma swallowed, quickly deciding an attached head was worth a lifetime of debt. Her focus returned to her mother, who had continued speaking.

"So Nabiki-chan invited me to go shopping so I could understand you a little better. How does that sound, Ranma-chan?"

Ranma almost forgot to smile, then she almost forgot to talk... "G... good!"

Nabiki led the two off.

Two pots of Kasumi's coffee and a healthy dose of 'Soun's Secret Hangover Remedy' (an eclectic concoction of wasabe, mineral oil, and eleven secret herbs and spices) had helped the distraught fathers sober up, at least a little.

"Oh, my son!" Genma wailed. "Why have you done this to me? A lifetime of training..."

"Yes, Saotome, now our families will never be joined, and I shall lose my dearest friend too," Soun cried.

Kasumi sat behind the two distraught men, who had gone out carousing to drown their sorrows only to return to the reality of Nodoka's arrival. And the Seppuku pact Genma had marked with Ranma a decade before...

Laughter ran down the street before a group of women, attracting the attention of Kasumi and the two men.

"I think that's them!" Kasumi said with a cheerful smile.

Genma turned to face his impending doom, then swallowed.

Soun's eyes threatened to leap out of his head as he saw his friend's wife and her child.

"N... Nodoka?" Genma choked out.

"Yes, it's me," the taller of two identically dressed women answered throatily.

A shiver shot up Genma's spine. What a way to go, he thought for a moment.

Nabiki's shopping expedition had been smashing success, especially when she had explained the importance of a extra millimeter of skirt-length to Nodoka, and how that seemingly insignificant distance made indecent... well... decent.

The two women wore matching back leather miniskirts just a touch longer than Ranma's had been. White silk blouses that showed fully two centimeters less skin than Ranma's previous garments provided contrast to the black. Nodoka was insistent on that longer length, and had refused to budge. After all, since a centimeter was ten times longer than a millimeter, these blouses were no less than twenty times more decent than Ranma's.

Ranma and Nabiki still thought they looked great, though. But didn't bother telling Nodoka.

Nodoka had given in to Ranma's request on the black half-finger gloves, though. And both women's legs were shown off to good effect by the calf-high boots with eight-centimeter heels.

"Genma," Nodoka said with a lot of extra breath. "I hear you've been a bad boy. Let's go up to your room and you tell me all about it, okay?" She pursed her lips in a faux kiss before continuing. "I HOPE I don't have to punish you too much, Dear..."

Genma nodded, as a river of drool flowed from the corner of his mouth.

Ranma smiled as she watched her mother lead her Pop inside.

"I TOLD your mom it'd give her a LOT more control over the situation than that stupid sword!" Nabiki proudly stated after Nodoka had closed the door with a wink to her benefactor. With a flash of insight, the family photographer suddenly realized how much mother resembled daughter.

Nabiki began to smile again.

Ranma began to sweat again.

This might have been the best investment Nabiki had ever made, not that she wouldn't make Ranma pay off every yen in triplicate.

Nabiki had THAT look in her eyes. Ranma swallowed.

***  
(END)

This came out of a discussion on IRC with Sinom Bre. I asked if he would continue his "Prank" storyline (uncertain at this time), and how he thought Nodoka might react to the 'new' Ranma. He placed Ranma on the fence when Nodoka showed up, and described the argument. Things went downhill from there :).

Thanks to Sinom Bre and Art Hansen for C&C.

I hope you enjoyed the story, please let me know what you think!

Kevin D. Hammel

March 5, 2000/September, 2012

======================================== kevinsff at pacbell dot net ======================================== 


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